Tell me, what's going to happen next?
de insecurity, de uncertainty, everything's nt feeling right..
i can feel the fear in me...
so tell me, what's next....?

===================================================================

saw u online, but was hesitating if i should go talk to u..
it seems like i dun really dare to do it..
anyway, 只希望你好就好了.....

why go round doubting abt ur existance? =)

yea y eh?
sometimes ppl will qn themselves abt why are they born in this world, why is it that it's him/her tt's given birth to n nt others....
well, i dunno why too..
there's no ans to it i suppose..
n i think there's no point to ponder on these qns too as u arent gg to get a correct ans for it...

but u can think it this way.
there must be a reason for y de creator brought u here..
ur existance had n will brighten up a lot ppl's life, bring smiles n joy to those u care..

picture this...
wads de first expression of ur mom when she first carries u in her arms? it's a =D right~
tt joy tt happiness, it's gonna be a life-long memory of hers..


think abt ur friends, u give them de comfort when they're down, u give them accompaniment n etc..

no point keep giving the examples..

u, are useful in a way or another, it's just a matter of if u had discovered it yet..
n y go keep thinking abt the qns mentioned above??
it'll do u nth but many more doubts of urself,
y nt go think abt what u can do to make urself more useful n make ur existance more meaningful n worthwhile..??

===================================================================
...... i simply hates de feeling of unable to express myself..
tt's sickening..... =.=

===================================================================

*i told myself tt i'll start to work hard from this week onwards for my exam n mainly for
MYSELF
but i've been playing gunbound straight away when i reached home..
hell moo moo...
wad am i doing...
i need more self control... more n MUCH MORE~~!!!!!!!!!!! =/


BED TIME~~!!!!!

Learning........

learning to trust,
learning to let u have things in de way u want it to be,
learning to nt to think too much...
learning nt to be ur burden...
learning... n learning..

a fact known,
i'm nt as 懂事 as u are...
haiz.........

心
，
又
痛
了
一
下
。

somehow, it just hurts..........

HappY Day~

went to far east plaza to meet up with clover,
she's late, so i waited for her at the bus stop..
*whistle* she looked damn nice lo, in her outfit, haha, unlike me, still de same old tee n shorts..

haha, guess wad, Clover say i look very lady-liked lei~
haha, unexpected compliment =D wee~

we spend our whole afternoon at far east plaza walking, choosing, trying..
n OH HAHAHAH!!!!
we saw YUXUAN at far east plaza,
actually is he saw us, then he called my name, we turned n tata, saw yuxuan ~!!!!
ahhaha, so surprise to see him siah
haha, so we chatted a while, n went our seperate ways again.
haha, eeeeeeeeee, yuxuan so wad de lei, he walked off without saying bye~ =.=
haha, but nvm, was quite happy with the lame conversation.. =D

clover bought herself n her friend a necklace each, n me being itchy handed, bought one too.. >.< forgive me dear i too itchy hand le..
we also bought something for our friend too..
n i bought myself a long demin pants, wee, $32, quite ok i think..
hahaha...

overall, enjoy de day lots,
yoz thx yao jing for today wor~
had a lot fun laughing n shopping with u~
ahhaa.. next time go tgt again~ =D

hmm, tml, Kbox session with Qiao fei,
n oh no, ahaha.. i dunno much songs so wad shall i sing tml..
hmm hmm...



it's a gd idea to keep myself occupied with events, so i wont have de time for those -ve tots..
i miss ya now..
do u feel de same?? =)

disappointments...
Quality Vs quantity..

just hope tt de same things will nt repeat itself too frequent, i'm very sure i'll get pissed soon..

tt's all...

Ur Craze My Worry

hmm, yup, de title's just sum everything up~ =D

it's 6.50am, should be packing n prepairing to to sch,
but i dun wanna be early for LMS as it's kinda boring, so..
i'm trying to waste my time here...

hahaha...

can i request for a housework-free life??
it's really killing me to do all those housework after a tiring day..
though i always try to find excuse to escape from it, though i always grumbled over it,
but i still went to do them...

i'm TIRED and ANNOYED!!!!
STOP CALLING ME TO DO THIS N TT,
TOTALLY SICK OF IT ~~!!!!!
STOP CONSTANTLY NAGGING AT MY EARS!!!!!
STOP IT~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


i'll be so grateful if u would just leave me alone....
tiredness---> bad mood ----> outburst~( burst at here onli.. =.=)
haiz..
我累了~
i wanna slp..
n i shall go slp now AFTER I FINISH MY DISH WASHING~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tml Life Management Skills at 8-10 am.. =.=lll

=(

when studying isn't about just the textbks and the notes, it involves u to continue with the researching and finding outs, this just turns me off.
i'm lazy to do all these, but it seems like without all these further studies, i'm nt gg to do well for my modules. tt's discouraging..

hmm, Mr Lee, my macroecon tutor is abit weird i think..
he kept trying to get me, clover n sinli's attention at the end of the lesson.
y cant he just let us do our gals talk when u aren't teaching anything..
n y u so interested in our conversation??
haha.. he's a funny guy..
funny, but i can sense that he cares about us, so tt's a gd thing to know aint it. =D




the atmosphere's getting more n more unpredictable, just like the weather.
i dun like all those guessings, just be straight forward n say things out??
haha..

moodles day..

n damn it, i finally had de time to take nap, but i just cant fall asleep..
hope i can slp for tonight..
tt's all...


i wanna slim down..

nth much abt today,
Blaw test's over, n i'm sure i'm nt gg to score for it even though it's EASY!!!!!
yup it's easy, but since i didnt study much abt it, so think at most a pass??
haiya, wadever la, test onli, as long as i pass my final exam can le..

hmm...
dunno wad to blog siah~
u say blog abt my tots n so on de, but tt'll be too persona i think..
so shall nt reveal too much here..
hahaha..


not in de blogging mood now..
think tt's all le..


friday friday~ i'm looking forward to it~ =D

oh well, today's kinda bad day for me i think..
went sch, during BMGT tutorial, mens cramp till so serious tt i ran to toilet to vomit..
cant concentrate nor catch anything in the tutorial.. sianz..
de yaos ah~
so gd hor..
keep on saying i pregnant.. =.=lll
but tt's funny~
n thx thx yongjia n xin li, for pei me go toilet~ =D
haha..

after bmgt end, decided to skip law lecture n go home..
but cant really walk, walk a while den wanna vomit again..
n tata, went to blk 56's toilet n vomit again.. =.=
ren yao~ thx oh~
thx for pei me go Toilet n pei me go take cab,
woohoo~ thx ren yao~ muackz~ =D

went to de nearest clinic, waited for near 2 hrs went in for less than 10 min,
n tata..
$18 gone..
anyway.. de doc gave me med, and he told me if de serious cramping persist for 3-4 months, if yes, den must go see specialist, coz tt means somethings' wrong..

haiz.. pls pls..
i'm a healthy woman..
=D

tml have blaw test, BCA quiz..
blaw ans presentation..
sianz..
i'm damn tired now.. =.=lll

ARG!!!! stupid IAC reflection!!!
i totally had nothing to say abt it, except how i detest it!! but i aint tt crazy to write this in the reflection when de tutor's going to grade it right~
haiz..
i look at the qns given, n try to dig hard into my brain for an ans..
i've been doing on it for half an hour n haven even finish 1 qn.. =.=
hell mooo moo..
sianz..

haiz...

time= 7.27am,
going to skip my BMGT lecture again.. ~ wee.. so meaning my lesson will onli starts at
1pm...
den why am i here???!!! u should know y.. hehe.. =D

haha... =D

anyway, some updates abt ytd..
ytd POA e-learning, so no lessons for tt day..
did my online poa quiz, n scored 28/40,
didnt do very well, i expect better, esp when i can refer to my notes when doing...
but nvm, it's still a pass.. =D

went to yeo chu kang n waited for him..
his lesson ended late, so i waited for him at de train platform...
got bored, so called jess for directions on how to get to NYP..
haha..
but soon after i hang up, he msged me tt his lesson ended n he's coming.... wooho..
he's in formal wear lei~~ so so so _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .. MUAHAHAH...
proceed to PS, dine at Secret Receipe, walk around for a while n went home..=D



dumb me, i onli realised that i haven do my IAC Spies R Us reflection last night, when we are supposed to submit it by ytd 5pm.. die die..
heck la, later den do.. since i got so much time now.. =D

My girl's English really so cham?

Oh well, I did the editing to the recent posts. Nothing else was looked into. Promise. =)

Shes sleeping now, I guess so. They say cute people have cuter faces when they sleep. Now I wonder how she'll look? Hmmmm~~ I wonder... saliva dripping? Snoring away like she didn't sleep for 3 days? Cute

A thousand apologies for those tears shed, could blame me instead of the over-reactive tear glands. =) Hahax. Nevertheless, its over now already, not entirely my fault nor entirely yours. This is a 2 people thing alright.

P.S.
Bystanders that are looking should only look. Save your comments to yourselves, if its bad. =)

Though a bit playful sometimes, still she makes a wonderful lady to me. (Beauty in the eyes of the beholder) =X

Boy shes gonna stomp over to my place tomorrow and take me by the neck like a chicken and exclaim "WHO SAID U COULD POST ON MY BLOG HUH!?" Haaa! I would be half asleep by then.

Alright on to the serious stuff...

Thank you GY for remembering this word I taught you. "Compromise"
Many couples forget this when they get into conflicts and stuff...
Pride gets in their way, hinders their line of thinking.
They fail to remember what lays underneath that layer of pride...
Love.
Lets communicate more alright? So I'll get to know you even better.
So you can listen to more sweet stuff right? Haha, ok i was kidding on that part.

*Don't kill me when u read this* *I love u*

i'm nt so emotional le..
i'm feeling better le..
calming down le..

now i'm waiting..
regardless what's de ans..
i'll just take n accept it..
yup..

n tt's all...

=D

i think i'm making things worse now..

明明很爱,却一直在伤害，
Wad am i doing now??
Will saying sorry help??
Will u read this???
Will u still be there???

i'm startin to detest myself..

when the hurt is done, a scar is left behind.
things can be forgiven, but cant be forgotten.

i thought i could get over it,
i thought maybe we could still be like yesterday,
but it turned out to be a no, especially not when i was alone.


i hate being a cry baby, but somehow i'm still one..
blame de tear glands for being over reactive..
pain.. tt's wad i'm feeling now..


i just hope this is just another pms mood swing....

went sch in the morning 11++ to do BMGT project.
meet sin li and yong jia..
discuss n type out wads nt done yet..
finish all at around 4pm..

den we went to the library to print our purposal out,
we must be mad i think..
we took the lift tt's for de disabled.
n it's kinda malu n FUNNY n FUN!!!

this is wad happened:
1 )we press de left button and de door swung open, it's nv a gd idea to stand infront of the door..
2) went in n found out tt we dunno how to use it...
3) follow de instructions on the wall n press de "up" button and de door closes by itself n lift start to move SLOWLY up.. it's really slow!!!!!
4) lift stopped halfway, n we're like "huh!?" quite scared tt we'll be stucked inside..
5) ppl walked down from library to atrium cast us a weird look n i saw them giggling at us..
6) press de "up" button again n lift starts to go up again..
7) lift stops n we tot we reached.. but de door CANT be OPENED!!! >.<
8) yong jia panicked, sin li n i blurred away..
9) i try press de "up button again, lift moves up for less than 3cm, okay, so just now's becoz de
lift's nt aligned with the door..
10) finally de door swung open.. we left de lift n went into the library..

heng today's sat, n there's hardly anyone at the library there..
so onli few ppl saw me, sinli n yongjia embarrassing ourselves..
if it's on sch days..
i would really wanna find a hole n hide..
haha

tt's all ba..
=D

it's tears that really makes a relationship unforgettable and of cos.... on the other side of the coin lie the happy moments


i'm fine le..
n thnx "gimkeng kor" for these sentence..
meaningful aint it..

=D

i got him angry..
cried...
Quarreled...
things will never be the same again i think..


I cant turn back time
i dunno wad to do to save wads left..
n is there anything left??
loosing confident....
loosing u away...


心在 碎，泪在掉，
爱，还在吗?

it's monday again..
POA POA..
monday's all abt it..
hm, thx eh MeeChee..
for de Bubbletea..
haha..
she go buy it, n came all de way uphill to lecture hall 45 n pass it to me!!!!
aw~
so good of ya~
haha..
but she's a bit naughty n childish..
write on my pretty clean lecture notes, disturbing me when i copying down ans.. =.=
haha..
but tt's all NOTHING~~~!!!!
haha.. i love de Bbtea la~
haha...
n thx ah~ for pei-ing me .. hear me nag ah~ =D


had poa graded class assignment, didnt really know how to do,
but somehow, still can tikam tikam a bit..
open book one.. heng..

lesson ends at 3 plus gging 4, i went to PS to meet him..
supposingly to be meeting at 5.30pm, but i reached at 4.40pm..
dots..
kanna tio stop by a guy selling this voucher on dunno wadever brand de ice-cream, de one tt got wasabi flavour n is located at basement of bugis junction...
he ask me buy n blah blah.. telling me they got this grand draw, n a couple of buy 1 get 1 free ice cream coupon on de voucher.
felt a bit tempted to buy, but on the second tot, buying de voucher means spending, n i'm kinda broke le..
so i declined his kind offer..
n tt guy was like so damn shock lo..
"wad! u're de first tt say dun 1 de lei~"
n he repeats it for a few times everytime i told him i dun wanna buy..
but a gd thing abt him is he dun pester n he's still friendly when i reject his offer..
oh man, i like this kind of attitude.. =D

initially is meet him for dinner de, but in de end we went to watch harry potter~
be4 de show starts, we go food court n eat bopiah,
wa, de bopiah damn thick de..
but we are big mouth peeps, so still can one bite n stuff it in.. =P
haha..

hmm, harry potter n de order of Phoenix is really kinda disappointing,
didnt really enjoy de show,
de plots too fast..
everythings' just few seconds n blah, next event le..
both of us didnt enjoy it..
but de visual effects are really nt bad i think..
wonder what will de next movie be liked..


after de movie, we went home..
both of us were too tired to talk i think..
so silence..
but i really dun likee it lei..

ai.. nvm...

我明白强求不会给我什么，但却还是这么做了..
i've gt lots to tell ya, but de change in mood just ruins everything..
y is it always likedat 1.. =.=
yup tt's all.. rushing for tml's BMGT leadership ppt slides now..
i wana slp.. i'm tired..
last min decision, i'm ponning BMGT lecture which is less than 6 hrs away..
i'm tired...

hm..
shall update on sat..
didnt slp at Fri night,
onli went to slp at 5++ am on sat mornin, but didnt manage to fall asleep..
partly becoz i'm slping at his house, n some other reason too..
den "wake up" at 10.15am, bathed n cab to NP n manage to reach at 11am for BCA project.
Kor called n scolded me, =.=
haiz.. sianz..
20 missed calls, 5 msgs..
hmm, bad gy, onli inform parents tt i staying outside for de night but forgetting to mention tt i slp over at friend house..
den in de end mama go find some ppl in my old phone book n called..
n she say she find guys' no. n call..
n she called zhi hui.. -.-
den when i saw zhi hui's sms, i was so pai seh siah..
haha..
damn no face siah...
anyway reached NP meet clover n yongjia n jess first..
tze came later..
den lunch at canteen 1, n went to do BCA at de underpass..
cant concentrate n keep on doze off
i'm tired.. n worried too.. for might get scolding when i reach home..

A THOUSAND APOLOGY TO JESSICA DE YAO GUAI
i promised to go shop with u,
but in de end i eat up my words..
i'm sry sry n terrible sry for it..
forgive me ~ k..

hmm, reached home at around 5pm on sat,
Mum was staring at me when she saw me, but she said nth..
coz i was so so damn tired,
i didnt really look at her, n went to slp..
slpt for 5hr ++ n wake up at 10++pm at night,
dad's slp le, kor nt home..
mum didnt say much, just some naggings..
n she said i shameless, slp at others' house, n i should have come home early if i know i might miss de last bus.. bleh..

yup.. tt's roughly wad happen..
n oh ~
thx CLOVER FOR DE PRESENT..
I LOVE IT!!!! N I SERIOUSLY DO.. <3

hmm.. saw his papa just now..
he just came home nt long ago..
but wad de..
i had removed my contact lens, n i'm nt wearing my specs too.. so i cant really see him siah~
nono, is i cant see his face at all LA!!!!!!!
den i dun even know how am i suppose to look at him n smile n greet him!!!!!!!!!!
DAMN!!!!!!!!!!
so in de end is uncle greet me first.. OMG!!!!!!!!!
stupid gy~

gmm.. he's playing com just now.
com n me, com more impt.. =.=lll

now he went to bathe le...
hmm hmm...
i'm alone now..
haha


*somehow, i'm just so in love with him~ =D

just bathed~
2nd time bathing at some1's house, feels kinda weird..
haha..

i feel so fresh now~!!!
muahahah..
=D

stomach still nt feeling well ah...
when will de bloating go away~!!!! =(

LMS at 8-10am, totally a waste of my precious time siah~
dumb dumb...
den went home first, n go back to np at 2, meet tze n study for my macro..
quite sianz de, flip thru de notes n nth new, but i still manage to know something new everytime i flip thru.. =D

den xuemi, renyao n xin li came..
n study again... =.=

went for de test at 4++pm, hmm..
de test's still ok i think,
at least i know how to do,
so think will pass la..


after test, went to far east eat n shop..
dinner at ljs, but damn, eat le stomach protest le..
bloating..
gas ah gas.. pls come out ok~
bloating reminds me of PIPI~!!!!
i miss ya miss ya~H.P.O.o.P...
u know wad it means?? =D

bought 2 tops n a tube..
hoho..
all at a quite cheap price~!!!! =D

den go changi meet him,
he sending friend off..
n how i'm at his house..

hmm.. saw his mama, quite unfriendly i think..
ask some qns, "u gt tell ya parents u nt gg home?" .. =.=lll
n she kept on emphazing tt gals should stay out at night. blah
n even had wanted me to cab home..

hmm hmm..
wonder if it's a wrong decision made..
but since he dun mind, i ok with it ba....


=D

tml 11 @ sch for BCA..
jess ask if wanna go shop.. of coz YES la~
hahah.. shop shop shop.. =D

another tiring day!
but somehow today's more interesting i think, maybe coz i'm at a better mood? =D

had BCA tutorial in de morning, sit in the room 2 hrs doing nth constructive, msn, see blog n blah..
waste of time..


den had BLAW tutorial, did our project presentation.
n haha..
wad am i thinking i wonder..
de attitude BLaw tutor's just sitting 1 seat away from me,
n yet i still dare to use laptop to view video-webbies..
n hhaha... dumb, she saw it, came over n closed my laptop..
i rmb hearing her saying something * dun view unrelevant things in class*
hmm, come to think of it, the tutor quite ok ba, at least she didnt get too angry n make a fuss over it nor did she took away my lappie..
so i was heng i think..
but wad de hell i'm thinking i wonder..
trying to be funny huh, even though i know it's wrong n yet i still go n do it..
trying to act hero or somethin similar??
i must be out of mind...
dunno wad i thinking..
haha..

den BCA workshop at 3,
had to redo our PBL 2, sianz
rethink all de qns again, n was told by LKK (tutor) that our el a bit cannot make it.. =.=llll
oops.. we tried our best le...
haha.. wadever ..
at least today's BCA tutorial more enjoyable than normal..

hmm, i'm really too tired le..
slpt on bus 99 on the way home, n i overslpt, missed my stop, n had a tour on the bus...
haiz..
should have reached home by 7 de, in de end, i reached home at 730. half an hr wasted..

i still haven start on my macro revision..
die die..
haiz..

shall go eat my dinner now..
i'm famished!

tata


*u are the reason for the smiles* =D
just chiong finish my BMGT e-learning work..
hell, ppl spend half an hour can finish it, n dumbo me took 2 and half hr to complete it..
haiz.. slow worker..
now so hungry, haven eat my dinner yet..

hmm, went to lib to print notes with jessica just now~
n know wad, we used up altogether 34 sheets of paper~!!!!
damn waste siah, all print on one side onli..
haiz... jess even say she see liao heart pain ah~

den we went home lo..

i went to ntuc after alighting from de bus 99,
bought a couple of things, n landed myself in stupid situation.
i was hugging my laptop in one hand n carrying 2 heavy n bulky bags of groceries in the other and i dragged myself home..
should have buy less i think, or i could just ask my bro to buy some..
y let myself suffer eh..
haha.. dumbo me..

i'm tired
i'm nt in de mood to do anything now..
but i cant let myself throwing my truancy now..
got to get back to the study mode..
no matter how hard / how unwilling i am..
still have to do it..
haiz.. haiz..

my friend said something similar
: how can u stand it for nt meeting him for so long..

n i wonder how too..
friday.. i'm waiting for it's arrival.. =D

In sch now..
reach school at 1030am, and found out tt me n yong jia's meeting at 11am. dots..
haiz.. rmb wrong time..
n shuay me.. laptop got prob again.
so go all way to block 72 lvl 5 n found out tt the repair laptop de place shift to blk 5 lvl 4 le..=.=
damn.. n i dunno where it is lo!!!
so in de end go round asking for direction, n by the time i found de place it's alry 11am le.. =(
spend half an hour there calling de stupid help line... haiz.. sianz..

den later that go underpass with yong jia n meet de rest to do BLAW project..
i hate projects la.. sianz sianz.. nearly doze off half way..

hm.. i still haven do my BMGT e-learning work..
n it's due at 5pm today, which haha.. alrdy over le la~
heck la, no one did i think..



too many things not complete, too little time to finish all of them..
not much interest to do them also..
i'm sort of stop working hard le..
=.=lll

n i cant seem to catch up their pace..
lagging behind...

tt's all le ba..

=D

It's easy to hurt,
but not so easy to heal....

*regretted for saying those words*

when i started to see hopes, i ruined them with my own hands..

CriEd.
N i felt something changing.

cried for near an hour just now
reason for crying:
1) partly becoz of the korean drama i watching just now, "Bad Couple" watch till de sad parts n i cry..
2) i dunno y too..

let me recall, when was the last time i cry for so long??
probably at sec2 ba,
i seldom cry, nt counting those crying over movie n dramas.
but why this time so weird..

haiz..
dunno la..

but felt quite a relieve after de crying session..
cry so long my eyes pain siah~
haha..
hmm hmm..


he's sick, and a bit sore throat..
so today after my IS lessons, i went to watsons bought some throat sweets such as strepsils n blah then go to aljunied to pass them to him..
called his hp when i reached aljunied, but no one picks up the phone.
called for another 2 times, still, no ans.
hp's getting low batt, i started to panick, what to do now?? continue call or go home??
den i'm mad, i go call his house no.
called, his mama answered....
.
.
.
.

met him, go eat lunch,
saw his cousin, she hi to me, i hi back awkwardly,

he's de same, but i'm nt..
holy moo...
haiz..

tt's all le ba..