谢谢你那善意的谎言，
谢谢你总是在为我想。

很抱歉伤了你，
我无法给你该有的温柔。。。

thank you..... JH

100th, not so good,
101th, worse!
i tried, but the outcome was kinda bad,
what shall i do.....

cookies, have them fresh, tt's what i had in mind at that moment...



listening to this song again and again,
lovely words form these lyrics
why do they sound so sad to me.....



Sometimes When We Touch

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply _
I'd rather hurt you honestly _
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you_

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide_
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry_
I wanna hold you tilL the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride_
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives_
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth_
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth_

And sometimes when we touch_
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide_
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through_
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you_
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters_
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I haveve to close my eyes and hide_
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides...

there's one place on earth i hate the most now.
and tt's my house!


for most people, no matter wad, they still love their home de most, with all the people ther for them.

but i don feel this at all.

all i see is distrust, not being respected, live rubbish bin, venting ground and the list goes on... ...

if only i'm independent, if only i've got the money now,
i will never ever want to go back to this place. NO AT ALL...


i had enough, way enough to bear with...

if u don like my attitude, please do some self reflections first,
coz wad u see is wad i received from you! and you are much worse than me.
just that they always spoils you till you tot you are always right.

it's obvious, whom they dotes and whom they dont.


DAMN YOU ALLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE you



i need you now, but where are you..
you're bothered by your things and emotions,
so am i too...

bad day
bad month..
n FUCK those mother FUCKERS!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


leave me alone, i just want to be alone.........
pls, do not ask anything, i hate to mention them...
be considerate..

.

.

.

.

.

mooooooooooooooo

.

.

.

.

mooooooooooooooooooooooo

.

.

.

.

baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

.

.

.

.

baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

missing

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

i finally managed to secure 2 HR Appointments today!!!!!!!!

so happy..

but then, one of them is because the person's interested and keen on the topics, so she called to the company.

the other will be like, i'm sort of cheating her, tt's how i feel la.
but then, this is a business world, we make use of beautiful words to polish up our services, intentionally exclude unfavourable terms and conditions just to get to the core purpose.

sad huh, but i guess tt's how things are ba..


well well,
just when i tot i had a great day,
something spoils it all..

was pissed pissed very pissed.

if i'm really in the wrong, i dont mind getting scoldings, for, I"M WRONG!

but i nv like to be scolded or shouted at when i have not done anything wrong yet, it's all their assumptions that i'll do this and tt, but i haven and did not intend to do so.
FUCK OFF THEY IDIOTS!!!!!!

so full of themselves, and yet always thought they're right..
damn ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


HAD ENOUGH OF THIS STUPID RUBBISH!!!

PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'll be going for my appointment tomorrow~!!!!!!!!! weeeeee
MY appointment!!!!! =D

wild wild wet with kaiting, pris, deb and weiyi=D

2 of them are late! but it's okay.. hahaha

-went into www, get changed! OMG, there's so many Indians on that day! trying not to ve racist, but seeing too many of them did frighten me, but mainly is family likett.

- went to do play those kiddy slides, i slipped and fall on my butts and knocked my head! OUCH!

- played the ular-ulah for a couple of times, guess this is how they spelled it, quite fun! but somehow we always missed the camera.. =.=

-then also had this facility, where we need to carry the BIG-2 seater float up the stairs, like walked 3 floors, and den slide down the u-shaped slide! it's THRILLING!!!!! but was lazy to play it again, for the FLOAT"S WAY TO HEAVY LA!!!!!!! me and kaiting had a hard time carrying it!

-the tsunami wave pool was quite okay, but i nearly drowned there. The incident took place at the 1.8m pool there, was trying to climb up the float, but sliped on the float and plunged down into water. tried to kick up, but I CONFESS, I'm A WEAK SWIMMER, more accurately is I CANT SWIM. so though i did kick up the water to the surface, but i cant float.. -.-
so in the end, was saved by lifeguard! and everyone's eyes were on me!!!!!! embarrassed!

- played 1 slide, where it's like a tube likett.. so when u were sliding, u're been engulfed by total darkness. it's kinda scary, for u cant even see ur fingers when in the slide.
then a lady infront of us get STUCKED in it.. poor thing, she must have felt damn scared!


after WWW, dine with them + meixuan.
updating each other on our lives....
i enjoy these gatherings~!!!!!!!!!


ahhaha

here's a little update on what happened.





attachment is getting worse by days, as i'm doing the same thing, calling and calling everyday.

i never like callings, esp calling to request them to let my company hold seminars.

so somehow, it makes us on the downside, as we are asking a favour from others.



so i get quite depressed over attachment, and it gets worse when all the other interns, except me, had managed to secure HR appointments.
Though my immediate advisor did not say anything about it, but I still felt the pressure building up. I am really afraid that this will affect my evaluation grades though it's just a pass or fail. I do not wish to fail my attachment!

Well, what can I say, it's something that I don't enjoy doing, and also, not good at.

However, I knew it well that no matter how much I dislike it, how much I complain and nag about it, things won't change.

The world won't change because of me, I know it well.
So, I got to change and adjust myself to fit into my surroundings.

Trying hard to now, but can't help but to complain every now and then.
Venting out of my emotions is necessary, if not, I might get overly depressed.

21/03/2009,Sat

As usual, Sat was the day for my sales part time job.

How do we define good friends?

I guess I ain't one.

For I couldn't be there for you when you needed me most. I felt kinda sad when realising this.

You even expressively stated that you wanted to see me, but I just can't abandon my work and run to you.

I'm sorry, friend.

I wish I could, throw away all the obligations that I had to fulfil, or find some excuses or reasons to tell my colleagues to let me off early, so I can go look for you.

But I didn't.

Maybe I'm just too selfish, like some others said.

But I did try my best to make myself available to you, through sms.

I even tried to send you video message, picture message, video call you, but sadly, my pathetic phone failed me.

So, I keep on find excuses to use my handphone: toilets, going into storeroom, refilling my water bottle.

For these, I feel that I had tried my very best.

Though you said the sms-es had helped you alot, and thanked me for that. It did lessen the guilt I had, but still, I felt bad towards you.

Similar incidents had happened before, that's why it bugs me so deep.

I can't guarantee that this won't happen again, but I will try to make myself the most available..

once again, i felt apologetic to you, and you.

And YOU-s, thank you for being there for me when I'm down.

I appreciate the efforts, time and attentions of yours.

Though I may not have said it, but I really mean it.

Thanks.

currently I'm quite obsessed with this song,
somehow the lyrics reminds me of something..

meaningful but yet sad...

放了爱


你指向远方爱情很晴朗

笑问不如今后就我们俩

怕泪会反光钻进你胸膛

但那不是感动是泪无法储藏

把美梦锁上以为是天堂

羽翼折起在你身边静静躺

却只能用目光空中翱翔

还得乔装安份靠在你肩膀





放了爱 为了爱 这不是我

该怎麼生活 放了爱





你说你喜欢我笑得开朗

你越温柔我越不想撒谎

我已办不到你想要的那样

客气地配合你我感觉更勉强


别人的幸福何必要模仿

心不在何苦留躯壳在身旁

加满自由我要无重量飞翔

就算以分离收场





放了爱 为了爱 这不是我

该怎麼生活放了爱

会明白有种拥有 叫作放手


我的心为爱流离失所

紧握最后回家的线索

等到寻获真正的我

证明我决定没有错


放了爱 为了爱 这不是我 想要的生活

放了爱 你会明白 有种拥有 叫作放手

放了爱 我放了爱

Loves:

The little ironing session!!!

simple and sweet

work,
chalet,
night out,
bath,
slp,


changed,
vivo,
thai express,
walk around,
indigestion,
trained,
home.


when you saw the changes, though you said it's something good, however, your tone and expressions disagree with it.

changes, something that never stop its steps, happenning to each and everyone in the every seconds of life.

many things happened, i guess i was no longer the same as whom you had known.

what awaits infront, is something which i do not know and do not want to know.


you pointed out something which i wasn't aware of...


*sticky sticky*

2nd week of my attachment, and i really do not like it.
it's not so related to what i studied, not something tt interests me.


today, after my lunch, had this terrible cramp, and vomited twice in the mini-toilet cubicle.
couldn't stand it so cab to a polyclinic and went home after obtaining the MC.

the waits at polyclinic were not that long le, think i spend like 1 hr 15 mins there. yep





because you are someone special + important, therefore, that may explain the expectations.
when perceptions do not meet the expectations, disatisfaction occurs.

if this is a test, you failed terrible.

i needed a lot of attention then, a hug, the cares and concerns and also your prescence.

cares and concerns yes i may have it, but the rest, none.

maybe you have your reasons, maybe i'm just too spoilt, i dont know.

All i see now is i'm not so happy with it.

high fluctuations in mood now....



Blame the PMS, blame the hormones...

I'll be fine soon

despite that,

i'm still crazily in love with you

la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

sat, 7/03/2009

work,
clubbed,
danced,
laughed,
irritated,
drank,
dizzy,
startled,
chatted,
discussed,
split,
homed.


clubbing was alright, loved the accompaniment of friends, though half way was a little pissed but it's inevitable i guess.
tt's normal for places like clubs, so yep..

drank a little, few sips only, but felt the giddyness came and go.
a little chat session outside de club, was tired then..

a little break from the hectic schedules... =)

moments ago, everything's fine

moments later, everything changes....






i dunno how to react to it....





tell me what shall i do....








i'm sad


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
maybe, i'm not gd enough for u...

Extracted from some random blogs:

"how u know someone is the right one for u"


I personally feel that you know its the right one

when everyday is such a happy day
even fights/unhappy days seem so sweet
you can't get your mind off that person
you close your eyes you see him/her
you open your eyes you see him/her
you save up, and plan to go out with him/her
you burn down your entire forest for him/her
you're so proud of him/her, you want everyone to know
you want to hold his/her hands and dance under the stars
you plan surprises and everything he/she says is cute and silly
his/her presence makes unhappiness/weariness go away
you are willing to suffer, to make him/her happier
you love him/her the same
even when his/her hair is like shit
and even when he/she got pimples all over his/her face

everywhere u go, you think of that person
everything u do, you think of that person
everything u eat, you think of that person
every breath u take, you think of that person
every sms that comes, you wish its that person
you worry for him/her
you wanna protect him/her
you get jealous of him/her
you wanna spend your last cent on/with him/her
you dream of a married life with him/her
having kids, getting old together, holding hands in heaven

When that person leaves you
he/she scars you so bad
you lose your sanity, dignity and ability to lead a normal life
It hurts worse than any physical pain could give
The poison eats you relentlessly
and there is NO antidote
You lost meaning in life
and realises that you've finally loved somebody
more than you loved yourself
Good Game!

That person is the One, the Right One
This person is extremely hard to find
May be once in a lifetime
Lacking any of the points above
does not qualify him/her

HOWEVER HOWEVER HOWEVER
I must state that:
1. this person is the Right One for you
2. you may not be the Right One for him/her
3. remember that Life/Fate is always cruel

Those who have met the one will know
what the hell I'm talking about
I hope this answer the question for most of you.
May you all find happiness..


Meaningful and true. Sends me into deep thinking....

Nothing much/special happennings going on.

All i did these few days were sleep eat shit, n looking at my pile of notes

yep yep, exams are coming, first paper on the coming sat. =(

so hmm....
shall off to my notes..


Plans after exam:

1. K session
2. Attachment


HELL MAN, I SAW THIS CENTIPETE IN MY BASIN JUST NOW!!!!!!!
EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!!

Felt kinda moody 2-3 days ago.
For i felt like i'm going to loose a friend soon.
I knew it well that we are no longer as close as before,
but still, hates tt feeling..

hmm...

shall not think abt it anymore.
tt's wad reality is about i guess
nothing much i can do?

as 1 gets older, he/she's more afraid to lose..?

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Sometimes I was quite amazed by what shit comes out from me.
they are so unliked me.

wonder if i really meant it, but i seriously dun know, or maybe dun wanna know?
irresponsible speaker
LOL..


random post, CNY eat n slp at home.
hopefuly i wont gain weight cause of this. =)

28th Jan 2009, someone's having a test tml.
all the best..
n rmb to drink the essence.. =D

*

tata

back from my consecutive 3 days of work.

first time working 3 consecutive in ISETAN, somehow that creates some confusions in the dates =X

CNY's approaching, people are rushing to buy new clothes etc, many sales gg on, n isetan's so PACKED with moving human beings!!!

Tired eyes + Tired mind + a worn out body = Restless GY

rude + ignorant customers = pissed GY

LOL..

time seems to move so slowly when people dreaded it..
so haix


anyway, someone came during the night, with his friend.
though he just accompanied friend to collect shirts, but still it manage to cheers me up.=)

some small minor things that tends to be neglected can really makes a great diff =)

anyway, a brief intro was done with i'm working,
but it feels so weird as i dont know how to react to it, same goes for his friend ba =/

so when we met later, I asked his name again LOL..
was thinking of doing a handshake as well,
but it may seems to be too weird n formal ba
so in de end didnt do it..

LOL




alright, time for some serious work..
they're piling up to such a hill tt i dunno wher to start from..
Hmmm....

my stomach's playing games with me for consecutive 3 days le.
hm, let's see who will surrender first

2 outcomes:

1) stomach gives up n stop giving me butterflies and tummy aches and multiple toilet errands. =)

2) I surrender and go see doctor. =(

yep..

when everything's in a mess